How to Split the Mental Load at Home…
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It’s never too late to change the things in our life that are not serving us. That includes how we work together at home. If you feel like family life is chaotic, maybe look towards making your household and partnership more equitable.
With the amount of tasks on our plates already, resolutions can be hard to keep. Here are the top ways families can better divide household tasks…
Make A List And Break It Down.
While domestic chores are never-ending, they do evolve as your family evolves. Sit down together and list out everything that needs to get done on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Then divide that list together so there is a name against each task. Make sure both parties are in agreement, acknowledge their tasks, and feel good about what’s on their plate.
In a lot of households, more of the duties tend to fall on one person. If that person is you, and you feel frustrated or overwhelmed by that, have an honest conversation. Instead of coming from a place of ‘one-upping’ or ‘pointing fingers’, try to talk about how you’re too busy and how that is affecting you (“I’m physically exhausted”, “it’s taking an emotional toll”, “I can’t handle this load and I’m breaking”, etc.). This will help your partner not feel attacked or defensive, and instead focus on coming up with solutions to fix the problem.
Don’t Forget To Work As A Team.
Living with another person can be tricky. Throw in a family pet, a work-from-home parent (or two), a couple of kids, and you have yourself a circus. The pandemic has blurred the lines between work-life balance. Constantly being around each other can be exhausting. Remember, it’s easier if you’re on the same side.
You can do that by having a weekly 30 minute chat where you check-in and talk about what’s happening. We suggest Sunday evenings. Put the kids to bed, grab a glass of wine or a cup of tea and talk about the week ahead. Getting on the same side will help you feel closer together while having a better sense of control and ensuring things don’t fall through the cracks.
Have An Execution Plan.
It’s so important to divide and conquer the workload at home— but you also need to have the tools to carry out that work. Just like other projects in our life, household duties require tooling for organization, daily communication and task management. We obviously like Maple for managing your home, but there are lots of tools families can use, from shared calendars, to post-it notes. Find what works best for your family.
Involve The Entire Family.
It’s great that you are sharing the workload with your partner— but the kids can help, too! It’s never too early to start teaching your children responsibility, independence and self-accountability. Whether they’re learning to put their clothes in the hamper as toddlers, or setting the table for dinner, sit down and involve your children in the planning process. If they’re old enough, ask them what tasks they would like to take on. They’ll feel so proud of themselves for pitching in and it will build their self-esteem to hear how much you appreciate their help.
5. Parents— Don’t Forget To Ask For Help!
Sometimes we simply can’t do it all. Know when to ask for help outside of the nuclear family. Whether that’s asking a Grandparent to drop off dinner once a week, asking the neighbor to walk the dog, or finding help with cleaning the house, there is huge value in expanding your village to help keep you running smoothly. There are creative ways to do this when money is tight. Reach out to the other parents in your network and see if you can set up a rotating park playdate where you can drop off the kids for an hour or two so you can focus on things that need to get done— without any distractions.
No matter what family life looks like for you, it’s important that you take time for yourself to reflect, relax and fill your cup. Being a parent is hard and you’re doing the best that you can.
Our mission is to improve the quality of life for families. We hope this helps your family.
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