Parenthood Divide and Conquer: How to Stay on Top of All Your Household Needs
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Post by Marissa Newberry for Maple
Many of us struggle with managing our households, and it’s more often the case that one partner takes on a majority of this mental load. As we work to better manage our household as a team it can be difficult and a bit bumpy at first, but if both partners are willing to work toward a more equitable household management style the end result can be extremely rewarding. It is possible to find a better balance with a bit of planning.
Here are a few ways you and your partner can divide and conquer your household needs:
Get on the same page + Discuss priorities
Sit down together and set goals for your family. Go through your household needs, to-do’s and calendars and divide up responsibilities as equitably as possible while taking into consideration each partner’s abilities, strength and capacity.
Remember to discuss and come to an agreement on priorities - taking out the trash, doing dishes and scheduling medical appointments are probably things that need to be prioritized and/or happen regularly, but maybe a project like cleaning out the garage or building a new play house can wait a few days or even weeks depending on the rest of your immediate needs and availability.
Make a list + Assign tasks
For this important step I really recommend using the free Maple app. You can create a family task list and then assign household to-do’s to each person with options to set deadlines for each task, make them recurring, etc. You can even integrate each person’s calendar into the app so it’s easy to see who has availability for what and when. This is how we’ve been managing our household duties for months now and it’s been a tremendous help.
Check in regularly
My husband and I check in twice weekly to go over and review our household needs and calendars. Every Sunday night we sit down together to take a more thorough look at the upcoming week and ensure we’re on the same page with tasks, events and priorities. This is usually something we can do in about 15 minutes after we’ve put our daughter to bed. Then on Wednesday evenings we do a super quick check-in just to make sure we’re still on the same page and find out if there are any things we need to add to our list or discuss that have popped up since our last meeting. This helps us to stay on track of our tasks and hold each other and ourselves accountable.
Ask for help and try to be flexible
Some weeks are harder than others and your capacity can change suddenly depending on what’s happening in your life. If there is an important task on your list that you just can’t get to, ask for help from your partner. Discuss how you can best approach it or switch some priorities around to make it work. Maybe this week you have to leave town for work so your partner needs to take on some extra household duties while you’re away. Ask how you can help to even it out or take something off their plate when you return. Or maybe there’s something that can be pushed out for you to handle at a later date. Give each other grace in working through these things together.
Managing a household can easily take up a ton of mental space - but it doesn’t have to. It’s most important to remember that you’re a team and you want each other and your family to succeed.
Writing and Image supplied by Marissa Newberry for Maple.